I cannot tell you how many times I have asked myself that very question. There are moments when it appears as though he is. For me, this is one of my biggest struggles of faith. I have a hard time when things seems to go horribly. I always fall back on the God is angry at me mentality. Some days it is difficult to remember that God gets angry at sin and not me. It is easy for us to fall into this pattern. I have heard plenty of people over the years say whatever was happening was God’s punishment for their sins. Maybe their prayers weren’t answered because God didn’t think they were worthy. We have all thought those things. We, as humans, will continue to think these thoughts until the end of time.
The book of Job tells the same story. Job felt (and was persuaded by his friends) that God wasn’t with him or was punishing him. He lost everything, his family died, and had to have had the worst luck of anyone in the bible. God was with him the entire time. While he suffered, God was there even if it didn’t feel as though he was. God showed up and gave Job more than he had.
As trivial and mundane as it sounds, life happens. Things don’t always go our way and no amount of prayer will change it. I believe that our path is laid out for us when we are born. Now, we may not take the path as it is given since we have free will. We will take detours because of choices we make, but we will be where God intended us to go. Unless we allow sin to overtake our lives and ultimately our paths.
Talk it Out
When moments like these arise, I spend more time talking with God. The only way I can find the answers I need is by asking the questions. I will ask God why he is angry with me? I don’t always get the answer I am looking for but nine times out of ten I will get the response I need. The response to remember that he is not angry with me regardless of how much it feels as though he is.
Earlier, I said God gets angry with the sin in our lives and not us. So what can we do about the sin? The simple answer would be don’t commit sin. That would be like asking humans not to breathe. We can’t help but commit sin. Even when we make every attempt to refrain from sin we still commit it. That is why God said we needed to confess our sins and repent.
As a Catholic, I go to confession regularly. I have found that I confess many of my sins, especially some smaller ones, in my prayers and conversations with God daily. Talking the smaller stuff out with him daily lightens my load. At least that it how it feels to me. I can go to bed and not feel as burdened with a million minor things. God listens to us even when we feel as though he doesn’t.