It’s Okay to Have a Bad Day
When you have a mental illness, one of the first things you learn is that you have pleasant days and unpleasant days. Some months those unpleasant days outweigh the good. Other months they don’t. It took me a long time to come to terms with my bad days. Most of it was from the stigma of mental illness. I couldn’t let my grim days show. I couldn’t let people find out I was mentally ill. Mentally ill meant something was wrong with me. I wasn’t crazy yet, that is what I thought about myself. People would think I was crazy and they would shun me.
I put on a show for everyone around me for so long. I would smile when I felt like dying. I said nothing was wrong when nothing was right. Then my therapist told me, “It’s okay to have a bad day.” It was like I was getting permission to express myself. Yes, I know I didn’t need that permission, but it was as though a switch had flipped in me. I could say today is not an agreeable day. I could tell someone I didn’t want to take part in whatever they had going on.
Learning how to communicate that I wasn’t having a good day is something I still struggle with. I have children and they don’t understand why. Work isn’t as much of a problem since I’m self employed. I can step away from the computer and work, then come back to it when I’m feeling better. I try not to do that often.
Another thing that helps me is a good cry. I’m talking an all out breakdown, an ugly cry. Afterwards, I feel wiped out. I rest, and then I wake up feeling better. It’s good to just get it all out. That doesn’t always help, but it does sometimes.
Accepting that today is a bad day is another method that helps. Just saying today ain’t the day helps make it better. Mostly because I can start again tomorrow and it will hopefully be better. We only have to worry about the day at hand. For me, praying on it helps. Taking a few moments to pray about whatever seems to make the day bad can help me get perspective.
One thing to remember that having depression is not the same thing as having a bad day. Depression is soul sucking. It honestly is. I have bad days with my depression. These days I barely get out of the bed. Those days I journal more, I write my feelings down so I don’t head into a deeper depression. Those days don’t always magically end with a cry or some rest. They can linger for weeks. I take medication to help them be fewer.
Not every day will be sunshine and roses. I have learned to take the good with the bad. To take the day as it comes, as the gift from God that it is. To know that maybe the storm that is brewing today will be the catalyst for tomorrow’s rainbow. There are other moments that are so bad I’m certain God is hating on me at the moment. It’s the truth of both my mental illness and my faith. I’m not perfect but I the best version of myself I can be each day.
HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH YOUR BAD DAYS? LET US KNOW IN THE COMMENTS BELOW.
I have to learn to take the good with the bad as well, that I’m going to have bad days sometimes. If I’m having a bad day I try to cheer myself up by doing things I love, like escape into a good book, watch a favorite movie or show to balance out the bad, which I think does help.
I’m sure it does help. It is difficult to take the good with the bad. We let the bad take control and we dwell on those days more than the good. IT is awesome that you go and do things that make you happy when you’re having a bad day.
Knowing it is okay to have a bad day is important. Not letting one bad day turn a week into a bad week is more important. Easier said than done but for me it is imperative to keep it in perspective.
It is important and you’re right it is easy to let one bad day become a week of bad days or even a month. I think allowing ourselves to have that bad day gives us the strength to have a better tomorrow.
I appreciate the honesty and sincerity of this post.
Thank you so much Ed!
I have to remind myself of this often
I think we give a bad a bad rep. However when a child is throwing fits or having a bad day we allow it. Remembering that bad days happen but aren’t the sum of your week is important.
a good cry definitely helps me too! it doesn’t solve anything but it drains me of the excess emotions
I couldn’t agree more Sandra. Sometimes a good cry allows me to just get it all out. That is one of the reasons I try to hold my tears for late at night. I can have a good cry, get it out privately, and then I’m drained and after I sleep I wake up feeling better. Lighter somehow.
i needed this today