Just like with any other part of my life I have goals for my mental health. Goals that aren’t always easy to achieve but I set them none the less. They are more overall goals rather than year resolutions or anything of that nature.
This is one of my biggest goals. Since I have depression and anxiety I have found that on the days when I am active they don’t seem as bad. Being active makes me feel better although I admit not every day. There are some days when I am out walking that I have to remind myself why I am doing it. I have to force myself to take another step because all I really want to do is crawl back into the bed.
Setting boundaries and saying no is difficult for me. I always feel that if I say no then I am upsetting someone. The same in true for my work. I will respond to an email where someone asks for a quote and then they respond back with this crazy low price they will pay.
There is one such company that always emails me and asks then says they only pay X amount. Which is honestly less than a cup of coffee. I get so frustrated because if they only pay that why ask my rates anyway. Then I worry that I will be missing out on any sort of pay if say no but am I lowering my standard and morals by saying yes. After talking with some other bloggers I have discovered they will pay more but they do their best to get the lowest amount first. I’m all for negotiating prices but sometimes I get frustrated. I have to set boundaries and say this is the line in the sand that I won’t cross. That I won’t allow others to cross either.
Acknowledge My Feelings
It’s easy to push aside how I am feeling over something and say it is just my mental illness rearing its head. I make an effort to acknowledge each of my feelings and know they have value. Whether they are good or bad. I have to accept they are my feelings and it is okay to not feel them but to express them. I used to hide whenever I was angry or upset. It seemed to never get me anywhere and would always make whomever angrier with me. I thought it was easier to just swallow those feelings and pretend everything was okay.
That ate at me until I felt as though I was drowning. I believe that was one of the major causes of my suicide attempts and thoughts. After all my feelings weren’t important enough to hear or express. It made me feel less than a person.
Those are my top three goals. I have smaller ones that I work on each day but those three are the ones I struggle with the most. They are the ones written in my calendar and my journal as must do everyday. They are my most important one at the moment. Who knows maybe this time next year they won’t be that important because I will have tackled them.