Walking Down the Wrong Road

How many times have you been on a particular path in life only to discover it is the wrong road? Do you listen to God telling you to change course or do you ignore him for a while? I’ve spent plenty of time on the wrong road. For years I stayed in a relationship I knew God was telling me was wrong for me. The problem was I didn’t want to be alone again. I felt I had spent too many years alone and wanted to be loved. I thought occasionally being liked was as good as being loved. 

Sounds pathetic, huh? We take the wrong for so many reasons. Sometimes, like me, we just get stuck in what we think we want or need. It’s difficult to make a course correction. A lot of things have to be considered. For me, it was deciding to file for divorce when my faith and religion was so against it. Do I go against what I always believed? Do I accept that the church may not accept my divorce? I did a lot of soul searching. Spoke with my priest and my therapist about my concerns and fears. Spent a lot of time talking with God.

Also spent a lot of time inside the confessional, confessing every mistake I thought I made during my marriage. While I freely admit I was far from perfect, I can say I never broke my vows. Vows that my ex had no problem throwing out the window. I felt that God would be all right with my divorce. The marriage wasn’t a pleasant one, and I had endured years of abuse. Not to mention he never gave up dating.

Finding the Right Road

Finding the road for you is difficult. For me, I had to go through grief and acceptance before I could hear God calling me to the right road. Once I opened my heart and heard God’s call things went smoother. It is always easy, in fact many times I find myself in the ditch or catch up in some brambles on the side of the road.  One thing I have learned is that is alright to stop and smell the roses but remember who is navigator on this journey. It’s God, and for me, it will always be him. Even though I throw the map out. Sometimes I wonder if he is screaming at me from the passenger side.

I bet he is or maybe he is just looking up rolling his eyes. I would be if I was him. I would think, “What in the world is wrong with this woman?” Then I would most likely pop myself in the back of the head. The bumps in the road are necessary, I have learned. They are stumbling blocks to help us correct our course or find our strength. I admit it seems some of those blocks are more like boulders that have come crashing down.

Praying on It

Now I stop and listen before I set out on a fresh path. I talk with God, pray on, and then decide which path to take. So far God hasn’t led me astray. Some days I can hear or feel what God wants me to do at once. Other times I need a little time before I hear from him. Yet, occasionally I don’t hear from him at all and I have to decide on my own.


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