Not so long ago I received a message through social media telling me how I was the worst Christian ever and that I should stop discussing god and faith on my blog. I wasn’t cherry enough or encouraging enough. I spoke far too often about struggles and people didn’t want or need to hear that. I didn’t respond at the time and agonized over what sort of response I could give. This post is that response.
Walking with Faith
I once had that unshakable faith that most Christians have. I never questioned and then my faith was shaken to its core. So much so that it cracked and crumpled. I spent years attempting to find my way back to god only to lose hope and faith again.
Life had taken turns that were tougher than I had expected. Many of my Christian friends would say god never gives me more than I could handle. That’s true but to be honest at the time it didn’t feel that way. It felt like god had found me unworthy and gave me obstacles to prove it.
When I began writing this blog I promised myself that I would share honestly with y’all. I wanted my readers and those who maybe were in the same position to see they weren’t alone. That someone out there was going through or had been through the same things.
Struggling is Real Life
Struggling is a part of life. Where would we be without our struggles? I struggle with my faith, each and everyday. Doesn’t mean I stop searching for god. Stop searching for answers or for the faith I once had. My struggles make me who I am and I like her just fine. Is she a perfect Christian? No but that’s between god and I.
It took me a long time to realize that god loved and accepted me just the way I am. That the questions I ask, the struggles I have are all okay. They’re acceptable. It makes me search more for the answers, it makes come to him more than I ever did before. Before when my faith was unshaken I said my prayers, my rosary, and went through the motions. I didn’t turn to god for answers. I didn’t ask him the questions. I was one of the herd. Now I’m the one that will spend an hour talking with god about a question or something I read in then bible and need better clarification on.
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I’m the one telling others it’s okay to question it. It’s okay to not understand everything. That yes god has a plan and will take of everything but he’s okay with you asking him why too. He’s okay with you being you. After all he made us just the way we are.